Updated: Sep 7, 2021
Have you ever heard anyone say: “yeah… sorry, I wasn’t able to get on our call, I was in a meeting”, or “I am always on the go and don’t have time to eat healthy, let alone get fit”, or my personal favorite “I have too much going on in my personal life, to be able to focus on my business”?
Now, let me bring the above into context so that I can make my point. The call he missed was on his calendar, and the meeting was with someone he actually just ran into. There is a juice bar literally next to her office and a gym in her apartment complex she has never set foot in. Lastly, his business is failing miserably, his family falling apart and the affair he is having is taking focus away from his business and he is not willing to give it up.
Have you ever heard anyone say: “sorry, I cannot meet you tomorrow, because I fractured my motivation”? Well… this is exactly what the one on the receiving-end is feeling, when someone in their life gives them ten million excuses every day. They fracture another people’s motivation. Let me say it again, they F-R-A-C-T-U-R-E people’s motivation. Pushing them away, every day a little further.
The bottom line is that if it is important to them, they will find a way. If not, they will find an excuse. DEVELOPMENT TAKES PLACE WHEN WE STOP MAKING EXCUSES AND START MAKING CHANGES.
Before we go any deeper, and for the sake of having fun and avoiding gender bias, let’s agree to call the expert in excuse-building, “Excuse Peritum”, which means “skilled” in Latin.
The Excuse Peritum can be extremely creative and is a ninja when it comes to getting out of unpleasant or difficult situations. Sometimes, the Excuse Peritum will use this skill to avoid commitment to just about anything, eating healthy, making that phone call, getting a promotion, opening a business, having a baby, buying a house, having that conversation, getting married, even to not be nice to people.
In brief, an Excuse Peritum can apply its super-power to rationalize its own actions, even though they are most of the time wrong, convincing not only other people of things that are untrue, but also convincing themselves. Next thing you know, the Excuse Peritum lives in a big bowl of lies, dragging everyone along.
These excuses may all differ, but they all have one common denominator, neither of them is welcomed by anyone and they all prevent self-growth.
The more the Excuse Peritum uses their skill, the harder it is to get anything done. Excuses become the Peritum’s new “reality”, one where “trying” is now its biggest fear. The Excuse Peritum will use their power unintentionally and this will get the best out of them, without measuring consequences. At this point a line has been crossed and it is time to make a change.
If this all sounds too familiar, if you have an Excuse Peritum in your life or if YOU are an Excuse Peritum, hear me out. STOP RELYING ON EXCUSES TO GET YOU THROUGH LIFE, BECAUSE THEY WON'T.
Now, are you ready? Let’s get started!
Any time we seek change, we have to understand the underlining reasons for that behavior. You may be afraid of coming out of your comfort zone, of the unfamiliar, of disappointment or making a mistake, of being exposed and vulnerable. You may need to redefine your goals, find motivation and at times, get an accountability partner. Maybe procrastination is your kryptonite. Without a doubt, procrastination is one of the biggest contributors to using your excuse-power at full capacity. Or is it lack of time? Not managing your time and making excuses are two bad habits. Do not put them both together by claiming you do not have time. Perhaps you just have self-doubt or continuously look to the side to compare yourself with others around you, to avoid the feelings of humiliation or underestimation.
If you want to start feeling good about yourself, live a life where you feel achieved, you need to crush this “power” of yours, and switch that energy into focusing on making an effort to resolve matters, cross out things on your “to-do” list and accomplish some goals. No excuses, only results. Make that change!
Now, are you ready to discharge the title of “Excuse Peritum? Are you ready to exterminate the “motivation slayer” in you?
Ok then, start by acknowledging that you are doing damage, specially to yourself. Embrace fear and failure. Stop overthinking and trust your gut. Comparing yourself to others does you no good, stop! Change your habits and stay realistic. Replace blaming others for your misery, with looking inward to comprehend what you are doing to affect the outcome.
Change your vocabulary, as you know it, the word “later” tends to become “never”, but from now on use “now”. Hold yourself to a higher standard than anyone else expects of you. Give yourself enough reasons as to why you must find a solution to that problem, or take care of that specific thing you have been putting off for a while. Face that difficult conversation head on. List your goals, start with a few and do not go to bed unless these were completed. Consciously, you hear me? consciously, seek viable solutions, putting your energy in acting and not in setting aside. Be the Leader of your life, take ownership.
“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else” said one of the Founding Fathers, Benjamin Franklin. The person who really wants to do something finds a way.
MICHÈLE C. KLINE